Faith and food were ties that bound for 50 years

In the recent photo above, they are, from left, Hank and Kay Johnston of St. Matthew the Apostle in River Ridge; Carol and Joseph Bandera of St. Clement of Rome in Metairie; Gail and Jack Siciliano of St. Francis Xavier in Metairie; and Jan and Doug Ramagos of Our Lady of the Lake in Mandeville.  The Ramagoses are former parishioners of St. Robert Bellarmine in Arabi. 

It was their Catholic faith that brought them together more than 50 years ago, and it was that same faith that prompted four married couples, who first met each other at Southeastern Louisiana University in Hammond, to attend together the June 27 Golden Wedding Anniversary celebration of the Archdiocese of New Orleans.

The four golden anniversary couples – Carol and Joseph Bandera and Gail and Jack Siciliano of Metairie, Hank and Kay Johnston of River Ridge, and Jan and Doug Ramagos of Mandeville – first crossed paths while attending Mass at St. Albert’s Chapel on the Southeastern campus and at sorority and fraternity parties.
Carol, Gail and Kay were in Alpha Sigma Tau sorority and became teachers; Joe and Hank were in Delta Sigma Pi business fraternity, while Jack was in Theta Xi.

Gail and Kay were suite­mates, as were Joe and Jack. Jack knew Kay from Bogalusa.

The couples said their college years corresponded with the Vietnam War and societal changes brought on by the sexual revolution. They recalled being able to smoke in the classroom when they arrived at college, yet women couldn’t wear pants on campus. By the time they graduated, there were coed dorms and students no longer were required to live on campus or buy a meal ticket.

“There was so much going on in the world,” Doug Ramagos said.



From left, the Ramagos, Gail Siciliano, the Johnstons and the Banderas.



Stories of love, friendships
The Ramagoses met in microbiology class.

“But our first date was Sadie Hawkins Day through the Catholic Newman Center at SLU,” Jane Ramagos recalled. “I asked him.”

The Banderas also began dating at the Newman Center, although they had attended the same grammar school. Carol graduated from St. Joseph Academy and Joe from St. Aloysius High School after first spending three years in the pre-seminary at St. Benedict’s. Joe graduated first from SLU in 1969 and was drafted in the Marines.

“Joe and I both come from Holy Rosary Parish in New Orleans, but we didn’t know each other,” Carol Bandera said. “I knew his brothers; Joe was older.”

The Ramagos, Joe Bandera, the Johnstons and Jack Siciliano holding Gail Bandera.

Hank and Kay Johnston had a blind date at a homecoming football game. Kay’s college roommate, Mary Ann, set her up with Hank, her date’s friend.

While they didn’t stand in each other’s weddings, they attended them. And, while Joe was in the Marines, Carol, Jack and Gail went to pre-Cana marriage preparation together at Sacred Heart Parish. Carol said Joe prepared for marriage with the Marines’ chaplain.

Gail and Jack Siciliano met in health class at SLU. When they married, they recalled having a New Year’s Eve party at their apartment before they even had furniture.

“Everybody had parties,” Hank Johnston added.

Attending parties and Masses, rearing children and eating dinners through their supper club called “The Gourmets” kept the group together, Jack Siciliano said.

“As we started having children, the sorority alumnae (association) was active,” Kay said. “That’s where we reconnected. Once the kids were the same age – that common bond kept us together.”
In fact, Kay Johnston is godmother to the Sicilianos’ daughter, and Jane and Gail are godmothers to two of Kay’s children.

Love extends to children
As families, they spent many Mardi Gras parades and Halloweens together; weekends at a five-acre camp in Big Branch, Louisiana, owned by Jane’s uncle, archdiocesan priest Father Morris Dummet; and renting cabins near Gulfport, Mississippi, at the Balmoral Hotel.

“The Catholic priest at the church (in Mississippi) knew who we were because we would take all of the kids and go to Mass and fill the pews,” Gail Siciliano said.

While they had fun, they faced tough times together, too.

“We all had the same religion and have faced the death of children, divorces, sicknesses and the death of parents,” Gail Siciliano said, adding that it’s not just the women who are close. “When my son had tubes put in his ears, Joe came and sat with me.”

And, she jokingly said she became Hank’s secretary temporarily when Kay and Hank’s granddaughter had surgery and Kay was keeping vigil at the hospital.

Catholic faith is key
Catholicism even spread to their professions and volunteerism. Carol and Gail taught together St. Rita School in Harahan and St. Francis Xavier, and Gail also taught at Mount Carmel Academy; Jack works part-time at St. Francis Xavier and with Gail organized the parish’s St. Joseph altar for many years; Kay taught math for 24 years at Cabrini High School. Hank was a Boy Scout volunteer at St. Matthew the Apostle and decorated many floats – using his boating industry knowledge – that the couples rode on during Boy Scout parades. Now, three of their grandchildren attend St. Edward the Confessor together.

“We have many talents among us,” Kay Johnston said. “They complement each other. There is no competition.”

Close-knit blessings
They feel blessed to have remained friends and to have celebrated their wedding milestones together.

“In the world we live in today, I look at my friends and say, ‘They are a wonderful example to me and Jack as we continue to live our vocational calling as spouses,’” Gail said. “Nowadays, we don’t have many people committed to each other. My daughter will always say, ‘I don’t have friends like the kind of friends you have.’”

“It’s a tight bond,” Doug Ramagos said.

They consider their eight children and 10 grandchildren their greatest legacy.

“We told them you are our legacy,” Gail said, and their children consider each other cousins. “That’s what we leave – this beautiful family. They all have relationships with each other in different ways.”

“It all started at daily Mass at St. Albert’s,” Joe Bandera said. “God and the Holy Spirit brought us together.”

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