Friends form nonprofit to fight suicide

An interesting and profound graphic appears on a Facebook post by the Amitie suicide prevention memorial foundation: An apple is seen in a mirror, but the other side of the apple – not reflected in the mirror – is half eaten.

The caption reads: “Social media never shows the whole picture. Perfection is an illusion.”

“We all have scars and blemishes,” said Amitie president Regina Graff of Metairie.

The death by suicide of a classmate in her senior year at Cabrini High School “affected me my whole life,” Graff said. It led her and fellow 1985 Cabrini graduates to form the 501 (c)(3) organization in January 2019. Others, who like Graff’s fellow classmates have been touched by suicide, and have joined the volunteer team whose goal is to thwart negative emotions that could lead to suicide.
 

“We all have a certain set of skills we can bring to the table,” Graff said. Graff is a CPA, and other team members are a nurse, legal assistant, secretary and accountant.

It’s all about friends

Because the organization’s roots are based on friendship, members chose the French word “amitie,” which means friendship, as its name. The universal symbol of suicide – a butterfly – and the universal colors of suicide – purple and teal – are reflected in the nonprofit’s logo along with an “A” turned sideways as a remembrance of the friend they lost.

“Our belief is that often people who attempt suicide feel truly alone,” Graff said. “They don’t think they have any friends who would understand what they are going through. … ‘Be a friend; save a life.’”

For the past 15 years, before the group was formed, Graff began speaking to students – first at Cabrini, then at other schools.

“I talk to them as people,” she said. “We get real. We share the raw truths of suicide. We talk about what happens afterward, how one single suicide affects so many people for the rest of their lives.

“We talk about how an instant decision can be a permanent solution to a temporary problem. We talk about bullying, how not to be a bully, how to reach out to the lonely or different people around them. We talk about building real friendships among themselves and developing a network of good people to share both the joys and the pains of life.”

This opportunity presented itself to Graff when a Cabrini newsletter she received asked alumni to locate missing classmates. The name of Graff’s senior classmate who had taken her life was listed as missing. Graff was so upset that she wrote a letter to the school and was invited to join a suicide prevention group to share personal experiences of her classmate and her own mom, who has struggled from depression and has twice attempted suicide.

Not being a public speaker, Graff hesitated until her mom told her, “You know you have to do that.”

“By telling me to go talk, it was her way of telling me to go talk with kids about something she has struggled with,” Graff said. “I am not sharing anything spectacular in my life. I am sharing things about incredible people in my life.

“I have people who have given me very powerful and meaningful stories. I am talking about real-life, real people who want their story shared about what they went through. Because of the way I speak to the kids, I am telling heartfelt stories. I am able to reach these kids.”

Wanting to do more

The positive response to Graff’s in-person presentations from students and parents alike encouraged her and friends to do more. That’s how the nonprofit got started.

Amitie has since begun an annual scholarship writing contest that awards $1,000 for first place and $500 for second. Student Lauren Weber from St. Charles Catholic placed first; and St. Charles Catholic’s Brooke Forsythe and Pope John Paul II’s Ella Cochran tied for second in the first contest. This year’s contest is open to all high school students – in ninth through 12th grade – through Feb. 28.

“We want to try to encourage students to talk about this subject,” Graff said. “It was such a taboo subject for so long. There was such a stigma around this. That is where the awareness comes in – they are not alone; help is available. If you have the flu, you go to a doctor and get help. It’s the same with mental health.”

The shortage of local mental health professionals for adolescents has created a long-term goal for Amitie – to open a clinic, a youth care center “where the kind of help we want for our family and friends will be readily available for all.”

Amitie board member Staci Scallon, a registered nurse for 30 years, said she’s noticed how mental health is often neglected, and suicide is a taboo subject for open discussion.

“This unwarranted stigma persists,” Scallon said. “It is as profound as religious intolerance and leads to neglect and under-treatment. No one wants to talk about it. Amitie is trying to break the stigma because we speak openly about mental health and suicide by educating teens and adults.”

Amitie hopes to bridge the gap of affordable and timely care “by building a network of mental health providers, especially those who treat young people, who will be available to see referrals within 48 hours,” Graff said, and to help subsidize the liability insurance premiums of providers. Members want to increase outreach to parents so they better identify warning signals and know effective tools to help their children. Oftentimes, parents have no clue their child needs help.

COVID-19 prevented Graff from her 2020 talks, but she is now taking appointments. The free discussions – soon to include other board members – are at area schools, churches, CYOs and civic groups.

When she speaks to Catholic/Christian schools, she shares her Catholic belief that God created each student for a purpose, and their thoughts are there for a reason.

“God doesn’t make mistakes,” Graff said.

For more information, visit https://www.savinglivesla.org. Email [email protected] to schedule a free seminar. The group also has a blog: https://www.savinglivesla.org/who-we-are

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