My kids give me hope

As a mom of many, it is easy to feel inundated by the needs of my children. However, when I slow down and shift perspectives, it is just as easy to become optimistically overwhelmed by them.

My 3-year-old daughter has a sense of wonder that only a toddler can with a smile that can light up any room. Her social-emotional skills are notable, and when she asks what’s wrong after I sigh, I feel loved, seen and heard in a way that my mommy heart craves.

You may remember that my children pull names to purchase Christmas gifts (with our money) for one sibling instead of all five of them. Recently, my 11-year-old daughter asked if she could personally purchase a gift for another sibling. Her desire to bestow a little lagniappe upon her sibling made me appreciate her thoughtfulness.

While my 14-year-old son is dealing with being the only boy in the house, finding his voice and place in a large family, I can count on him to do a favor for Mom – even when he does not want to. It reassures me that he is becoming more mindful of the needs of others.

My 16-year-old daughter has so many gifts, especially empathy. I know that she will be the glue that keeps all of her siblings connected and that she sees, accepts and appreciates their differences in a way beyond her years. Her gift of understanding strengthens me.

We are almost done ;-)! My 18-year-old son is a freshman in college, and his level of independence from booking his own flights (at great prices) and recognizing when he needs to rein in certain behaviors reassures me that he is well on his way.

Finally, my oldest son offers reflections on his successes, struggles and upbringing that are open, honest and enlightening. As challenging as it may be at times, knowing that he feels comfortable enough to come to me is gratifying. He knows that I do not always agree with his choices, but that I will always be there to support, love and help him in any way that I can.

This snapshot of some of their gifts does not imply that we do not struggle, that they are “the best kids” or that I have an unrealistic view of my kids. We are ALL a work in progress. My children see, love and accept me, flaws and all, too.  That gives me hope.

When you slow down and observe your children, what gives you hope?

Ty Salvant is a columnist for the Clarion Herald’s parenting blog, nolacatholicparenting.org.