Navigating life’s obstacles with my determined son

Cerebral palsy. The physical therapist told us that the neurologist might use the term as a means of diagnosis. But, she had emphasized, there’s a spectrum.

Even so, despite being prepared, despite knowing that my son was making progress on his milestones, hearing the words still was devastating. As a mom, it’s hard hearing stark medical terminology applied to your child.

That was at the end of May. It’s taken some time to process and finalize additional therapies, doctor’s appointments and schedules.

For the past year, we’ve used early intervention to address my youngest son’s low muscle tone and his delay in meeting motor milestones. Working one-on-one with his physical therapist, he’s now walking and, just recently, running.

So, the waves of disappointment that arose during the neurologist’s meeting to discuss the MRI results weren’t from thinking of my son as “disabled.” They weren’t associated with the stigmas surrounding people with disabilities.

Instead, I thought of my sister – my triplet – and the obstacles she’s had to overcome with her learning disabilities. I knew, from observation and personal experience, the struggles that come with delayed learning. It will be a difficult path.

At the same time, I see my son’s joyful persistence. He began running, I firmly believe, because he wants to keep up with his brothers. As I’ve been working with a team of physical therapists, that’s the one thing they continually point out – my son works hard; he doesn’t let anything hold him back. That’s another characteristic that my son shares with my sister – joyful determination.

It’s also been hard coming to terms with seeing the MRI scans and hearing that the trauma occurred during pregnancy or at birth.

Everyone had said that my last pregnancy would be the easiest; after all, I had had twins, and now I was having a single. But, in reality, it was more complicated, and the impact of those difficulties weighs heavily.

It’s amazing to me how advanced our technology and medical interventions are; yet, the cause of complications related to pregnancy and childbirth is still relatively unknown. The number of times I was told that the cause or effects of problems I had experienced during my pregnancy were “uncertain” is truly mind-numbing.

But at the end of the day, it’s all beyond my control. I can’t change those complications; I can’t change my son’s brain injuries. But I can advocate for him; I can help him achieve his goals and foster his determination.

Everything happens for a reason. God doesn’t give us what we can’t handle. Those are beliefs that I hold deeply.

I don’t yet know or understand the reason for my son’s diagnosis, but I know God will reveal it in his time.

Motherhood has been a process of discovery, and this is just one further point on that timeline.

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