The only thing I can do is to put my trust in God

By Dr. Heather Bozant Witcher
Clarion Herald 

The unexpected. In many ways, we should be pros at adapting to the unexpected turns of life. Especially given the past year and the many changes and turns that we’ve taken in our journeys.

But it wouldn’t be classified as “unexpected” if we truly knew how to adapt. It’s almost as if God is saying, “Here, try this on for size.” He does work in mysterious ways, after all.

It was unexpected when we found out that we were growing our family, adding another baby so soon after the birth of our twins. After all, we had tried for years to get pregnant in the first place – surely, this was some kind of joke.

But it wasn’t. Another curve ball, just as we had started to get the hang of our routine, just as we had started finally feeling comfortable as parents and our lives as a family of four. 

“Please, God,” I remember praying each night. “Just one.” I knew my limit. There was no way we could have another set of multiples. And the prayer was answered – just one. 

I remember asking the ultrasound technician: “Are you sure? Just the one?” She looked at me like I was crazy, until I explained that I had previously birthed twins. 

And so, for the past two trimesters, I had been going about life as usual – or as usual as it can get in a pandemic. My doctor and everyone around me said the same thing: This pregnancy will be a breeze compared to your first. Having a singleton will feel like nothing, compared to the weight of carrying twins.

It was. I certainly didn’t have as many aches and pains. There weren’t as many bumps or hiccups, though there was definitely more room for baby to spread out – and he did!

But just as quickly as things fall into place, they’re just as quickly jerked from underneath us. Out of nowhere, in what had been a relatively easy pregnancy, I was hospitalized and then put on bed rest. 

The unexpected had happened again: a high-risk pregnancy with caution taken on all sides. And now, as I sit writing while on bed rest, I can’t help but continue to think of how unexpected this entire journey has been. The unexpected announcement, the unexpected risk, and now the uncertain arrival.

In the midst of these past harrowing weeks – going from an expectation of loss to a gripping hold to fight and do whatever it takes to keep baby in utero longer, safe and healthy – I kept coming back to the same understanding. It was beyond my control. This is beyond me.

Sure, I can obey doctor’s orders. But, in the end, it’s God’s will that will be done. I can only place my trust and faith in him. Because while these past seven and half months have been unexpected for me, it’s always been in his plan.

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