Through childbirth, agape love flows like a river

I don’t think we can truly comprehend the kind of selfless love that we witness by Jesus’ example on the cross until we begin our families.

When we find the “spark” and acknowledge that we’ve met our helpmate, the person to whom we’ll remain devoted for our entire lives, we enter into what is known as agape love.

Throughout marriage, we practice that unconditional love – in good times and in bad.

But perhaps it isn’t until the birth of our children that we truly recognize the full extent of what agape love means.

As a mother, when I hold my children in my arms, I feel the kind of sacrificial nature of agape – the feeling that I would do anything for these children, that I would make any sacrifice. That’s not something I ever recognized in myself prior to childbirth.

My most recent pregnancy was difficult. In many instances, I found myself angry with God, angry with the body he had made – the very body that was meant to carry a child but was seemingly having such difficulty with the task.

Even before the anger, however, I questioned a number of things about the pregnancy. A recurring concern was how I would be able to love this new addition in the same way as I love my twins. Would having another child mean that I had less love to give?

I spent the majority of my pregnancy relishing the moments with my twin toddlers. After all, these would be the last moments as a family of four. And secretly, I felt guilty – introducing another sibling.

How would they react? What would they think?

Certainly, these thoughts resonate with parents who have had multiple children.

Rarely do things go as planned, and Sydney’s birth was no different. Just over a month early, Sydney arrived in the world after a tumultuous pregnancy, marked by multiple hospital visits and pregnancy complications.

My first memory of seeing him isn’t in the delivery room but in the NICU.

Unable to hold him, I could only look at his tiny body in the bassinet. That was the moment I recognized agape love within myself. To see his fragility awakened an intense longing to fight, to do whatever was possible to ensure that he would be OK.

That was also the moment I realized how quickly a parent’s heart can grow, not less love, but more – an ever-widening gulf to encompass a growing family.

And, as for Sydney’s older brothers? I’ve discovered the resilience and adaptability of toddlers. “Baby brother,” echoes throughout the house whenever Sydney and I emerge from the nursery.

Running toward us, eager little hands reach up to grab their littlest brother (with the repetition of gentle touches).

In children, too, we see agape love – a love that has been untainted. A love of innocence and utter selflessness. A love of completion.

Dr. Heather Bozant Witcher just recently had her third son. She can be reached at [email protected].