What kind of world are we living in?

Our Easter homily addressed the same concerns that I’ve lately been weighing: What kind of world are we living in?

I hadn’t realized how heavily that question had been burdening my thoughts, but as I sat in the pew with my squirming children (who alternated between counting the number of candles on the altar and asking for goldfish), I felt a strong sense of validity. As though, yes, these questions matter – and, yes, God was listening.

Last month, I had a text message from our daycare that the school was on lockdown. I remember that I was in the middle of grading, but as soon as my eyes glanced through the message and saw those words, my heart sank as I grabbed my keys and phone to run to the car. I hadn’t read the rest of the message; I just knew I needed to be closer to the school.

Thankfully, everyone was fine. There had been a domestic dispute and shots were fired in the street. Until the area was cleared, though, we couldn’t get to our kids.

Though the outcome was a happy one, the reality was difficult. Just a few weeks later, the news broke about Covenant in Nashville.

 What kind of world are we living in?

What kind of world are we raising our children in?

When kids and teachers fear for their safety in a space that is meant to be a positive one; when teachers must learn to always monitor their surroundings and look for individuals who they’ve never seen before; when kids learn to shelter in place at the same time as they’re learning to spell their names – what has our society come to?

The priest didn’t have answers. He only had the same kinds of questions. And what answers are there?

It’s unthinkable to think that Covenant was just a blip in a long string of school violence, and that many are desensitized to hearing the incidents. And, yet, here we are.

When will enough be enough? It’s hard to hear, even in a homily, that God doesn’t abandon his faithful. It’s hard to think of how that message falls on the ears of a mother who won’t get to hold her baby again or of a sibling who didn’t think that that morning would be the last morning they would have together with their brother or sister.

What kind of world are we living in? The answer is bleak: It’s a world in which the only person that matters is one’s self, a world that cares not for others, a world that doesn’t understand consequences and responsibilities. In fact, maybe that’s not even the question we should be asking.

The better question is how did we get here? The answers to that question might help us figure out a way past the violence, past the selfishness, past the darkness.

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