Along the way, so many people kindled our marriage dream

By Victoria Donze
Guest columnist

In December 2021, my best friend Christopher asked me to marry him.

Not long after, in our attempt to triangulate a wedding date that was safely outside of hurricanes, LSU football and the frenzy of Jazz Fest, we settled on the perfect day.

An eternity seemed to be separating us from April 14, 2023.

As any bride-to-be probably knows, it is so tempting to want to fast-forward to the big day – to focus so much on that single date that the journey to the altar becomes a blur.

But something about our engagement gave me such peace. I didn’t want to wish this time away, and I wanted to enjoy this incredibly unique “in-between” period in our relationship.

As I’ve learned through loss, time with those you love can be fleeting, and I feel so blessed that I got to soak up all the little moments that came with our preparation for the sacrament of matrimony and the “wedding event.”

When I reflect on the time we’ve spent preparing for marriage, I think about all the small but special memories that brought us where we are today.

I think about the florist who shared with me that she, too, had lost her father at a young age and how she wanted to make our wedding day special for him.

I think about the lunch date I had with my mom and sister after we had found the most perfect wedding dress – believe it or not, the first one I tried on!

I think about our cake-tasting, while huddled around a tiny table on the sidewalk outside the bakery, where we were joined by our trusty pup Huey (who may or may not have snuck some buttercream icing under the table).

I think about my dear grandmother, and how one of my fondest memories of her will always be the extra tight hug she gave me at my bridal shower before she passed away four weeks later.

I think about our jeweler, and how he gave us the advice to take care of each other and to let our love “ground” us.

I think about the kind stranger whom we sat next to at a bar one night, who told us all about her young son’s burgeoning Little League career and how parenthood has been the greatest joy of her life. I think about how excited she was for us – that we would one day get to experience that same level of happiness and pride.

I think about just how much I got to know my fiancé even more over these last 16 months, how I’ve gotten to see so many examples of how genuine he is with everyone he meets, how deeply he loves his friends, how deeply he cherishes both of our families.

I know this life is a journey and I know this marriage will be, too, but I don’t want to wish any part of it away.

I pray to be present, in good times and in bad, and I pray for every other couple preparing for marriage to do the same.

Don’t get me wrong – the wedding day should be one of the most special days in any couple’s relationship, but always remember that the little moments on this journey can be special, too.

I’m so excited for all of the moments I get to share with my soon-to-be husband, whether big or small.

Life is made up of Huey walks and walks down the aisle; first dances and last hugs; Friday-night weddings and Jazz Fest Saturdays; the small interactions with strangers and friends alike.

I want to enjoy every bit of it.

Victoria Donze, a physical therapist by profession, became Victoria Donze DiBenedetto on April 14, 2023, at Our Lady of the Rosary Church in her native city of New Orleans. Victoria, her new husband Christopher and their dog Huey live in Mid-City.