Barber’s generous response to a vulnerable confession

by Jenny Dendinger

By Jenny Dendinger
NOLA Catholic Parenting

My friend Karlie has been cutting hair for many years, but this haircut was different.

As my children and I greeted Karlie at her house, her 2-year-old jumped onto the sofa in a fit of giggles. Her baby boy, on the other hand, immediately melted down in protest when Mama offered the swing, so my daughter swooped in to help and had him smiling again in no time.

Once the little ones were content, Karlie dragged a chair into the middle of her kitchen. I’d done that same thing so many times before, but this time really counted.

Karlie was legit.

My son, who was on the cusp of becoming a teenager, was about to get his first real haircut.

I started cutting my husband’s hair over 20 years ago. We were only teenagers at the time. He was quite brave considering the extent of my training was following the how-to manual that came in the box!

Once we got married and started our family, I began cutting our children’s hair as well. They were little. It didn’t have to be perfect – just a quick trim. We didn’t have any extra money to spend on haircuts, so Mama’s best would have to do.

Before long, those quick toddler trims were replaced with much more time-consuming cuts for my teenagers. I tried to listen to their desires and provide their preferred style, but even my best attempt took me twice as long as a trained barber.

Mama’s haircuts required a heap of patience from everyone.

Sometimes, when I’m feeling weary, my secrets slip out before I can stop myself from sharing them. Earlier that afternoon, I’d had one of those moments. I was talking with a friend from church about some pictures she’d shared of her recent cuts, and I vulnerably confessed that my boys had never been to a barber. Our finances didn’t allow for such a luxury, but I’d occasionally suggested to my husband that I’d love to get lessons as a present. It would truly be a gift for all of us!

Without hesitation, she offered, “Come by today or tomorrow.”

In all fairness, my kids have never complained about me cutting their hair. In fact, they’ve always given praise and appreciation for the final product. When I told them about my friend’s offer, they looked at me confused.

“But, mom, you don’t need that. You’ve been cutting our hair for years. Why would she need to teach you how to do it?”

Bless their sweet and generous hearts! Here I was dragging around this heavy guilt over not being able to afford this basic necessity for my kids, and they were legitimately baffled by my cross.

Mom guilt never plays by the rules, does it?

My son sat quietly while I watched her cut. She explained each step, pointing out where to start and end on his head and how to get his hair to taper just right. With the patience of a saint, she answered all of my questions. I laughed at myself as I took pictures and typed notes into my phone, but she never once made me feel ashamed. Instead, she encouraged me.

After she made the last few snips, she sent my son to the bathroom for a quick peek in the mirror. He came back wearing a huge smile.

In 30 short minutes, my sweet friend did something she’d done hundreds of times before. She pulled up a chair and gave a teenage boy a trim.

Only this time, she embraced my vulnerability and helped carry my cross while she cut.

Jenny Dendinger is a Louisiana native who married her high school sweetheart, Buddy, after he stole her heart at their neighborhood bus stop over 20 years ago. She currently spends her days perpetually reheating her coffee while clinging to Mama Mary for help as she homeschools their five children. Because big family life is always full of surprises, she is a firm believer in the vital refreshment that results from continuing to date her husband. She is also known to appreciate the comfort of her daddy’s Monday night red beans, the thrill of hunting for treasure at garage sales and the satisfaction of a sweet victory on family game night. While her house has all the familiar traits of a homeschooling family – hopelessly messy and overflowing with books – her favorite lessons involve putting aside their formal work and going beyond the walls of their home to put their faith into action. Even though it isn’t always easy, Jenny constantly strives to live simply, speak truthfully, give generously and pray unceasingly.

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