From Mt. Tabor to the depths of despair, God is there

The Clarion Herald celebrated “The Gift of Priesthood” in a special section that included columns by priests and bishops across the state of Louisiana. Here is a reflection from Conventual Franciscan Father Kenneth G. Davis.

Why did Jesus lead his disciples off the shining summit of Mount Tabor and back down into the dim darkness of our valley of tears? 

A story might explain.

Once there was a faithful husband married to a jealous woman. Now because hubby commuted via crowded buses, upon returning his wife would find a hair on him and shout, “You’re cheating on me with a blonde!” Or “You’re cheating on me with a redhead.” 

Her accusations convinced him to walk to work because not sharing a bus meant his wife wouldn’t find any hairs. Upon returning, he stood for inspection under the porch light, but her search was frustrated, so she blazed, “You’re cheating on me with a bald lady!”  

She could look but not see her husband’s fidelity for the same reason the Transfiguration alarmed rather than illuminated Peter. Our inner dark defects such as suspicion or fear shade even shimmering mountains of outer evidence. Without the inner light of trust, no amount of outer evidence or illumination can make us see God’s fidelity.

Consider our priestly call. We all have a vocation story, a Mount Tabor experience, when we were illuminated by Christ. But, how quickly we become as alarmed as Peter. Scared by the demands of our vocation, afraid of our frailty, terrified by our temptations, inner dark defects often cause us to look but not to see God’s fidelity.

However, fear is driven by something unseen, namely, our own dark defects, which cause us to look but not to see God’s fidelity. But faith is the realization of hope based on something else unseen – trust. Our puny, human effort to trust is tinder catching the first flicker of the divine gift of faith. Thus, Jesus leads us back down into darkness to teach us to trust.

Remember: Christ leads us; he doesn’t abandon us. The light of Christ never abandons us; it accompanies us. Hence as his love light illumines our defects, we do not despair, but delight. 

Trustingly bringing our dark defects into the love light of Christ is tinder touching flame. Such a tiny spark is all the Spirit needs to blow gently upon the tinder of our trust as it flickers into flaming faith until our inner twilight is transformed into a firestorm.

When priests thus bring our dark defects into the love light of Christ, we ignite like kindling to be used as Christ’s chosen instrument. Not because we are better or holier than anyone else, but because every time we ascend the sanctuary that is the true Tabor, the Light of Christ blazes until our trust grows into that inner glow by which we finally look, see and believe God’s fidelity. 

Morning Mass is our Mount Tabor, where we prepare for a day of ministry. At Eucharist, all our dark defects are dispelled as we ascend with him into the glow of heaven, confident Christ will illumine every dark valley because he already descended for us into the gloom of hell. 

Conventual Franciscan Father Kenneth G. Davis is a spiritual director at St. Joseph Seminary College in St. Benedict, Louisiana.