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Parents: Are you really listening to your children?
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By Gavin C. Lewis Sr., NOLA Catholic Parenting
Every day, I pick up my kids from school, and they jump into the car ready to go on about their day – how exciting the day was (some days, not so exciting); the work they completed in class; which friends fell at recess; what teacher was the nicest to them; what test they passed; what they ate for lunch; and a list of other things that they feel are important to express.
It would be great if each of them waited their turn, so that I could clearly understand what each one was saying and address them one at a time, but that would only happen in a perfect world.
All three girls normally want to talk at the same time which leads to a five-minute discussion about being nice, respectful and taking turns. My son usually is aggravated because he is trying to take his daily after-school “car nap,” and his sisters are too loud for him to sleep.
Through it all, I do my best to listen to each one of them, for I believe that listening to them express themselves is extremely important. But, how can I really hear each child and make sure that they believe they have my full attention?
Well, once it all settles and they have finally decided to take turns and listen to one another, they begin to realize that their days are not much different from one another’s. They begin to talk amongst themselves, often forgetting that I am there. Of course, I continue to attentively listen to each of their voices, and interject when appropriate.
Why? Because listening to the small talk allows me to feel a part of their day. More importantly, it gives me some insight and a sense of direction as to what is really important to them, and how to best support them in their efforts to be great.
Often times, our children will not come out and tell us what we want or need to hear; but, if we listen to their conversations with others or to what they are “really” saying – not just for surface value – we can decipher what is really important to them and what is not.
The Bible tells us in Psalm 46:10 to be still and listen to the voice of God. Many times, that is hard to do, because God does not always tell us what we want to hear.
In our daily lives, there is so much going on: work, family obligations, more work, chores, worry, trials and tribulations, etc. All these things can distract us from truly listening to what God is trying to tell us.
How can you listen for “his” voice when there are problems at your job or your children are struggling in school? Maybe, you are just too busy to take the time to slow down and really hear the voice of God. Maybe you hear it, but it’s not what you want to hear; maybe you struggle deciphering the voice of God from your own desires.
I will tell you that the voice of God is always there to guide us, but we must make sure that we are intentionally listening and prepared to move in whatever direction he tells us. God is going to best support us in the endeavors in which “he” has prepared for us.
No matter what is going on in your life, it is important to listen for the voice of God. Deuteronomy 31:6 tells us that “He will never leave you nor forsake you.” It may seem, at times, that he has, but he hasn’t. You must do your best to drown out all of the background noises and place your focus on the small voices that you often dismiss, while taking action on what you are being led to do.
Listening to the voice of God will give you the sense of direction he has outlined for you. More importantly, it can also place you in a position for success that you never imaged would happen, and give you peace and happiness in your life.
So, I ask you: Are you listening?
Gavin C. Lewis Sr. a native of New Orleans, is married and has four young children. He is a graduate of McDonogh 35 Senior High School, earned a bachelor’s degree from The University of Louisiana at Lafayette, a master’s in educational leadership from the University of Holy Cross and is currently a full-time student on track to earn a doctorate in organizational development. He enjoys reading, traveling with his family, going to sporting events with his son, swimming and playing dress up with his three daughters.Please send comments to [email protected]. Visit our three-times-a-week blog and new podcast every other week at www.nolacatholicparenting.org.