Tates let their ‘yes’ mean ‘yes’

By Christine Bordelon
Clarion Herald

One could say that Jan and Lloyd Tate were in the right place at the right time when opportunities were presented to them.

But it was their individual collective “yeses” to each invitation and sacrifice for Catholic church ministry that led the couple to be named recipients of the 2021 St. John Paul II Award by the Catholic Community Foundation of the Archdiocese of New Orleans.

The presentation of the award, usually made during a formal dinner, will be filmed by WLAE-TV with Archbishop Gregory Aymond presenting the award at his residence. It will be aired Oct. 7 at 7 p.m.

“One yes led to another yes, led to another yes, and here we are 45 years later still doing marriage prep,” Jan Tate said about one of their multiple archdiocesan ministries over the past four decades.

Humbled by the honor
The couple, who will celebrate their 50th anniversary next February, were flabbergasted when the archbishop called to tell them the news. They are among only a handful of couple recipients.

“He called, and I assumed he was going to talk about other things I have going on in the archdiocese,” Lloyd Tate said. “Then he said we were going to be the recipients of the John Paul II Award, and I was literally speechless. I was totally caught flat-footed. I did not see this coming. I did not expect it at all. So, I expressed gratitude.”


 “When I got home and Lloyd told me what happened, I was not surprised that they would have selected Lloyd because he has done so much for the archdiocese in so many capacities,” Jan Tate said. “But I was really shocked and pleased that they were going to present it to us together, because so much of our ministry is together. We felt humbled to be chosen.”

Award recognizes generosity
The St. John Paul II Award was established in 1996 to recognize lay people of high moral character who exhibit “unselfish volunteer service to the institutions and programs of the Archdiocese of New Orleans” on boards and in hands-on ministry.

Cory Howat, executive director of the Catholic Community Foundation that presents the award, said he learned of the Tates’ generous spirit for ministry as a 12-year-old friend of one of their five children, often hearing Jan Tate say “yes” when a priest called for help. Their kids would joke to him, “They’re just involved in everything, from their parish life and marriage prep.”

Howat said the Tates were pioneers in the couple-to-couple marriage prep model – something that didn’t exist a generation ago. Their program addresses the spiritual and practical aspects of marriage.

“The priest doesn’t know all the angles that a couple would know,” Howat said. “You have an element of human formation (in the program) that is great.”


The mentor couple program goes beyond marriage prep by establishing an open dialogue with engaged couples so they feel comfortable maintaining that connection after they are married, which helps when problems in a young marriage might arise.

“They both had to have learned, through marriage and spiritual direction, how to be expert listeners of the heart,” Howat said. “Having a large family has taught the Tates to serve with a servant’s heart.

Accomplishments are many
The Tates met as young adult, Catholic ministry volunteers in the archdiocese. They said the late Jesuit Father Ken Buddendorff influenced their faith formation over the years – including getting them involved in marriage ministry only four years after they were married.

Fast forward 40 years, and the Tates have not only personally mentored hundreds of engaged couples but also authored the couple-to-couple marriage preparation manual, “In Home Marriage Preparation,” now in its third revision. Their program is used in the Archdiocese of New Orleans and elsewhere. They also speak nationwide on this and give retreats.

In addition to marriage prep, the Tates were part of the core team when Retrouvaille – retreats for troubled marriages – was introduced in the archdiocese. They also initiated the RENEW parish renewal programs in the 1980s after having been involved in this ministry when Lloyd was working for several years in New York.

They co-chaired the first Notre Dame Seminary Gala in 2006 and are proud of their work opening dialogue between parents and children about human sexuality through the Mother-Daughter/Father-Son programs. They have served on the Willwoods Community board. They also have spoken at Legatus Catholic CEO meetings and the archdiocese’s Men’s Morning of Spirituality and have addressed deacon candidates on “Theology of the Body.”

Jan is currently co-chair for the Catholic Community Foundation’s Women’s Giving Circle; Lloyd is chairman of Catholic Charities Archdiocese of New Orleans and a 13-year board member and emeritus director of the Catholic Community Foundation board, a finance committee member of Notre Dame Seminary’s board and on the Finance Council of the archdiocese.
Learned to strengthen themselves

The Tates are both spiritual directors and staff volunteers with the Archdiocesan Spirituality Center. Jan was certified in 1998; Lloyd completed his two-year certification in 2015. He also earned a master’s degree in theology from Notre Dame Seminary in 2012.

Jan Tate considered becoming a spiritual director when pondering her life after her children were in college.

“I prayed that day and said, ‘Lord you have to show me something where I can have a life after my children leave, because I want to have something meaningful to do,’” she said.

Not long after that a religious sister asked her to give spiritual direction at The Cenacle for retreatants. Then, she was invited into the spiritual internship program in New Orleans in 1996, completing it in 1998. She has been on the staff of the Spirituality Center ever since.

When Lloyd happened into spiritual direction after retirement, Dominican Sister of Peace Dorothy Trosclair, Spirituality Center director, asked him to consider being a trained director, which he did in 2015.

“I knew it was meaningful for Jan, so I said I’d pray about it and maybe I would try,” Lloyd said. “I felt called to it, and I love it.”

Jan Tate bragged a little about Lloyd, saying more men have been seeking spiritual direction since he got on staff.

They both say they’ve become stronger in faith and realize their faith journey is lifelong by walking with others on their faith journey.

“It keeps me deeply rooted in my prayer life and daily prayer,” Jan Tate said.

“When you do a lot of ministry, you can have too much ‘Martha’ energy and not enough ‘Mary’ energy – give, give, give; serve, serve, serve,” Lloyd Tate said. “Spiritual direction is a challenge. You can’t be a good spiritual director if you don’t have a personal prayer life yourself. It focuses you in making sure you are spending time in your personal prayer relationship with the Lord so you have something to bring when you are meeting couples or people struggling in their relationship or trying to understand how God is moving in their life. You have to be attuned to that voice yourself through prayer.

“We call it the hidden ministry because people don’t know about it. It’s a one-on-one encounter to help people learn about God in their life. It’s a blessing.”

The St. John Paul II Award presentation can be viewed on the Catholic Community Foundation Archdiocese of New Orleans’ home page – https://ccfnola.org; the Facebook pages of the Catholic Community Foundation or WLAE; or on the internet through local cable providers. For details on the award, call the Catholic Community Foundation at (504) 596-3044.

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